South African Queen

This is Nastuzja Mess.  A South African who was transplanted by the heavens to Coolangatta.  She's 23, and friends with all the cool kids. "Oh yeah when Wardo and I used to date..." "Oh God, Jay Adams is texting me again...." "Oh one time backstage at a Mickey Avalon show..." "Oh when Slater and I climbed Everest...."  The list goes on.  We have a faux-marriage on facebook, but we take it pretty seriously.  She works as a host at Neverland, and surely things get weird when shes around.  She spends her days gurfing (girl-surfing) and smoking the gravity bong I gave her. Then proceeds to eat too much and pass out, upon waking up she likes to complaining that I did this to her.  She's a track star, specializing in the run-like-youve-had-a-stroke 10 meter sprint and fall.  She enjoys saying "sooo funny," "maddog," and "you dont even understand."  These quotes have the ability of making her stories infinitely better than yours.  She's a wonderful human and Im honored to be faux-married to her.  Maybe one day she'll stop surfing and get a boyfriend.